Pretending to be Happy : Gulife.com

Pretending to be Happy
2007-01-18

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Why these tears still runnin' down from ma eyes ?
If you happy with your life,
whether you got your gal or not,
I should be happy.
No! I have to be happy sincerely.
Not pretendin' to be as i am now.....
[[ This is not good Rose, seriously this is not good !! ]]

You'd asked me to be ya gal, and i said no.........
Seems fine, but no im not. So much hurt.. So much pain
I've decided, but why dun i respect ma decision ?
Bro-Sis is enough, remember it's enough Rose !
Relation between us would neva changes surely
[[ No, neva ! impossible !! no way !!! SIGH!! ]]

Though we undastnd, it's impossible to be what we want,
coz of those fears, espacially for the distance..
But my heart still needs you na ka..
As i said if you are here, theres no prob !
but at da mo, ya're there.......it's too far
We are away............umm away jing jing
We know well we dun wana love with doubt........ :(
and also dun wana be distrustfull right?
Ummm, yes! - -''

So...................... ~
What should i do with this feelin'?
Should I run away ?
Should I erase it ?
or dun care jst throw it away ?
Most of the time, no I cant !!~
Well, I think i'd better do nothin'
Let it be as it should be..
Dont wana set ne'thing too far for da future
Dont wana hurt maself and you..... :(

7 Years passed.....
We know each otha well, but not best
If we're closer, it's easier to learn
but in this case we're not ---- obviously !

Last......, same
I love you na ka ma brotha
from now on,
I promise that

          * I will try not to cry coz of these things
          * I will try not to talk about these ne'more
          * I will try to make ya happy, not sad
          * I will be your lil good sis
          * i will love you 4eva...........believe me :)

Heaps of Love,
ur sista
zrose

p'poil : pen rai ka
p'poil : sad ror
rose : nope
rose : fine
p'poil : p' kor hueng n' sao p'
p'poil : mai yark hai krai mar yung
p'poil : p' pid ror ka
p'poil : tar pid kor ok ka
p'poil : p' ja dai mai hueng
rose : is this da reason why u hung up ma call?
rose : last night?
p'poil : most of the time yes....
p'poil : if i cant be that person
p'poil : i dont think other ppl are worse to be with u either
rose : .....
rose : Nun is jst ma new friend, im not flirtin' her.
          And u know well she's her gal
p'poil : yea maybe i was being selfish
p'poil : i dont really care if she got her girl or not
p'poil : i dont really trust anyone beside myself to u
p'poil : thats wat it matter
rose : last night i cried
p'poil : sorry ka
rose : all messed up in ma mind ya kno?
          dun ya undatstnd da feelin' of a gal
          who luvs ya but couldnt be yrs ?
p'poil : um wat u want me to do
p'poil : i'm selfish
p'poil : only to u...
p'poil : -_-
rose : many times i ask maself, should i be ya gal?
          answer comes out, but one thing that stop me thinkin'
          is da distance
rose : we're too far, im afraid of lovin' people who're away from me
p'poil : i know ka
rose : u'r there im here
p'poil : thats the kind of fears i've for several years ka
rose : how far away back i'v been lovin' ya?
          remember that time be4 i went out with zr
rose : remember those time we'd talked about this thing?
rose : i bet u dun
p'poil : i do..
rose : da same reason
rose : distance
rose : If i wanna hold ya, could I ? no
rose : If i wanna be held so tight, could i be? no
p'poil : i know ka.. thats the kind of feeling that i've too
p'poil : i think u should know my feeling
rose : several times i cry coz of these things,
         sometimes ma heart keeps pushin me to say yes to you
         but i still got that fears
p'poil : me too la ka
rose : but u keep askin' me, didnt cha?
p'poil : um
rose : y
p'poil : nevermind ka
rose : we both have that fear, we both fear of losin' us
rose : if we still want each to be by side,
          why u keep askin' me to b ya gal right?
          we do not know da future, but some sittuations we could see
          wot would happen
          i love you, i love you jing jing. if u're here, theres no pro,
          i would say yes to you without thinkin' too much, without that fear
          but at da mo, we're away
          i confess sometimes i am jealous of you wheneva u talk to otha gals
          many times u told me that u'd introduce ya gal to me, and i said mai pen rai
rose : that's da reason why not
rose : And many many many times i gotta act like im fine, or alright coz
          dun want ya to know da deep feelin is.
rose : Coz i know we couldnt be lover, i dun have a right to think wif ya
          more than friend or bro-sis
rose : whatever you will do, it's your right
rose : i'll be right back, i cant stand sumthing now

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EDIT

..ดีขึ้น..
    ..ยิ้มได้..
    ..ร่าเริงได้..
    ..สบายใจได้..

                เธอ
                  *

* * *

* * * * *

*.. ค ว า ม ห่ า ง ..*

*.. ร ะ ย ะ ท า ง ..*

* * * * *

* * *

*
ฉัน

..ถ้าเธอไม่ได้คิดมาก..
..ฉันก็ไม่ควรคิดมาก..

..ถ้าเธอยิ้ม..
..ฉันก็ยิ้มให้เธอ..

..ถ้าเธอไม่ได้เป็นอะไร..
..ฉันก็ต้องไม่เป็นอะไรได้..

..ถ้าเธอเหมือนเดิม..
..ฉันก็ต้องเหมือนเดิม..

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EDIT2

..เธอโทรมา..

           ..++++..
    ..เค้าร้องไห้อีกแล้ว..
           ..++++..

    ..เค้าเพิ่งรู้..
    ..เรื่องราวทั้งหมด..
    ..เค้าเพิ่งรู้..
    ..ความรู้สึกของเธอ..
    ..เค้าขอโทษนะ..
    ..เค้ารักเธอ..
    ..เค้ารักเธอพี่ปอย..

   .. ps :   มะกี๊ เธอโทรมาอีกแล้ว ..แต่.. เธอหลับปัยแล้วนี่
                 แต่ตื่นมาทออีก ทามมายเธ๊อ !?!?
                 ที่นั่นจะตีสามแล้วน๊ะ.. - -'' ปวดตาก้อยังฝืน !!~
   .. ps2 : มะเคยเหงเค้าอ้อนอ่ะดิ ฮ่าๆๆ .. เค้ารักเธอนะพี่ปอย .. พี่ชายของเค้า
                 (หรือจะเปลี่ยนสถานะได้แล้ว? ฮ่าๆ)
   .. ps3 : เธอทำตัวน่ารักใส่เค้าอีกแล้วน๊ะ !! ..

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EDIT3

..enough..
    ..too late..
    ..realize..
    ..answer..
    ..not me, but her..

    ..no more word..
    ..no more pain..
    ..no more tears..
    ..no more pretending..

..i'll jst fly away coz of my guilt

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EDIT4

.. come back ..

.. please ..

.. come back ..

.. i want your feeling back ..

.. back to me ..

.. i said it's too late ..

.. but ..

.. u told me its neva too late fo luv ..

.. I know i was pushin' it away

.. I am sorry ..

++ but ++

++ now im ready ++

++ and ++

.. why couldnt we let us ..

.. be what we wanted then ? ..

.. u told me ..

.. I am your first ..

.. and gonna be your last ..

.. i was extremely happy ..

.. when i heard that ..

.. please p'poil ..

.. I know it's hard to say ..

.. but ..

.. i'll wait for the answer ..

++ I will love you ++

++ always ++

+ rose +

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